FB – for Facebook or Fuck Buddy

This is either the biggest compliment I ever got or the craziest. Or possibly both.

One of these days, I got a friend request on Facebook, from a man who used to be my fuck buddy some 15 years ago. Personal message was attached: He still thinks of me as the best sex he ever had. He even tells me how and why.
I’ve been trying for four days, but I can’t stop laughing at it.

Seriously! I was 17 at the time. I had only had some 5-6 others before him. If I remember this correctly, he was only the second person I ever gave a blow job. I don’t think we did anything more daring than that, and intercourse, of course. Pretty vanilla. I didn’t know half of what I do now about the male anatomy. Or the female anatomy, for that sake. And he wasn’t exactly a beginner himself, from what I remember. 25, he must have been. I haven’t thought of him for a decade and a half, but now, when I do, I think he was a good lover, although nothing that special. He was the one who told me I was wearing the wrong bra size (a 36B, when I should have been wearing a 32D. Correct assumption, and still my size). I remember that. I remember, too, that he wasn’t ashamed of his porn collection, or his history with women. He was a player, and he’d been to bed with several girls I knew or almost knew before this. He wasn’t afraid to scare me off by joking about it. Feeling free around me, I suppose, or maybe he was as free with everyone. How many I didn’t know about, I have no idea.

He is a player still, he tells me, at 41, he’s only had a couple of long lasting relationships, and most of his women have been what I was: An affair lasting a month or two or three, or one nighters. A couple of hundreds, he claims. And my 17 year old self is supposed to top the list? This must have grown way out of proportion these 15 years we haven’t seen one another. He must have put all his best experiences under the umbrella painted with my name. Sure, I have heard the same thing from men I’ve met later in my sexual odyssey. Some of them, I know have definitely meant it. But at 17? I don’t think so.

Still, it flatters me. This man, who I suppose I must give the initials FB, for Face Booker or Fuck Buddy, not for his real name, tells me he has never been to bed with a woman as sexually playful, liberated, honest or open. Which is a description I recognize, I guess it’s been fitting me from the very first time I ever slept with anyone. (I was a couple of months short of my 16th birthday at the time, for any of you wondering. Last millennium.) He also uses the words “a natural”, “a wildflower” and “a lioness”. And he tells me he still fantasizes about it. Again, I can’t stop laughing at it, but I think his fantasies must be what this is really about, not the real life experience. No woman is that good at 17. No way. And if I were, I still couldn’t have been that extraordinary, because I am so, so, so much better now. The things I didn’t know… Which is, BTW, what I answered him. “Flattering, flattering, but I don’t quite believe it. I am so, so, so much better now”, I wrote him back.

Just before starting this post, I got his reply: “I would hope so”. And then a couple of sentences more, on possibly finding out during the span of summer. If I want to test it out, he will. Pic e-mailed to me. He still looks v. v. good. And against myself, I am tempted.