The Kegel Priestess/Kegel Ninja

My fellow commenters on NYMag are nicknaming me the Kegel Priestess/the Kegel Ninja, because I never let an opportunity pass to recommend kegels. And why should I? Ladies and gentlemen, particularly ladies, this is what doing your kegel exercises do for you:

**First and foremost, it gives you a more flexible vagina. You can squeeze it tighter for a longer amount of time, feeling close, warm, tight and young for your lover, as well as opening up to a further degree, giving a looser and more relaxed feel to it (a good thing if your lover is on the bigger side and/or if you want to try fisting, and/or if you’re among those who feel pain during intercourse). In short, vaginal rejuvenation plus a more varied repertoire as a lover, for free and without the risks of going to a surgeon!
**A stronger libido, because you’ll become wet and ready quicker and easier than you’re used to. You’ll enjoy the in-and-out-movements more than you did before. (This feels great for your man too. Makes him feel like a wonderful lover, whether he is or not.)
**Stronger and more frequent orgasms, especially multiple orgasms, and I think, without being able to prove it scientifically, also an easier access to squirting orgasms. (See parenthesis above.)
**Easier and faster births, the experts say (by average, the pressure phase is an hour shorter for a woman whose muscles are trained, plus the risks for cuts/bruises/having to be stitched after are smaller) AND quicker recovery after birth.
**Greater bladder control.

HOW: There are three speed intervals you should be able to master. The quick one. The long-lasting one. And the one in between.
**For the quick speed: Tighten and relax the muscles in as quick a movement as you are physically able to. As if blinking with an eye. Repeat as many times as you want, or until you feel as if you want to/need to pee.
**Medium speed: Tighten the muscles. Keep the grip while counting to ten. Release and count to ten before repeating. Repeat at least 10-50 times (depending on how well-trained your muscles are. As your muscle strength increases, you increase the time interval to counting to 25. And then to 40. And then to 60/a minute.)
**Slow speed: Tighten the muscles for as long as you can take it. Then loosen up to relax. Do not repeat until later, say, the day after.
In either case, after every squeeze you should loosen up and relax for as long a time as you’ve kept your muscles together. If you’re not used to doing kegels, there’s no harm in relaxing for a bit longer than you’ve been tightening up, either.

Don’t know which muscles to squeeze? I call them, naturally, the kegel muscles. Some say the love muscles. The medical name is the pelvic floor. They’re located all the way around your vulva/vagina/anus and uterus. Those closest to the vag will be the first where you notice the exercises. If you want to control if you’re doing it right, you can to one out of two: Stop the flow by squeezing the muscles tight when peeing. Or stick a finger in and try to grip and release the grip around it (when NOT peeing). Naturally, I prefer the latter, but the former is the way most often recommended by gynecologists.

AN EVEN BETTER HOW: When you’re sure you’re in control, you can practice these same squeezes when fucking. Your man will feel the difference to your grip, varying between tight and soft, strong and mellow. I call it my “hug and squeeze maneuver”, or sometimes, my “hug and squeeze and milk maneuver”. I usually do it when on top (= the man can effortlessly lay back and enjoy it) and several of my lovers have told me the sensation is no less than sensational…

WHEN: Whenever. No one will notice you’re exercising these muscles. Unless, of course, you do it while having a male visitor inside. He won’t fail to notice, and he will celebrate you forever.

WHY: See above. What’s not to love? Kegels really are the answer to everything.

PS: Men can work out their pelvic muscles, too. It will give them greater control over their erections and ejaculations, allowing them to come sooner or later as they please. Also, that bladder control thing.