I enter 2010...

...in a somewhat sentimental mood. Wondering whether the choices made in 2009 were the right ones, after all. A couple of days ago I was sure, they are. Today the old feelings are welling up, and I hope it’s just a stroke of New Year’s.

I can’t change it, anyway. It is too late for that now. I lead the life I chose, and it’s a good one. I’ve got the freedom I wanted, I travel, and I am pursuing my career. There’s no lack of sex, good sex, great sex. But emotionally, there’s nothing as engaging as the one I left behind. He misses me too, he says. He called me only last night to tell me, and I know it’s true. His voice filled me with the rawness of it all. But really, it isn’t raw any longer. Seven months and some days have passed. He’s moved on to a new life on his own, and I have, too. Or rather, I have kept up my old one, with a few changes to it. Relationshipwise, what I have moved on to may be a blind end, just a rebound thing. Don’t feel like saying much about it, not that there’s too much to say. Which is, by the way, the reason I haven’t posted for a while: I feel I should give the man a fair chance without thinking it over too much. Go with the flow, go with the mood, see how it develops, give it a chance. You know. Whenever I am with him, I feel good. Whenever I am not, I do not miss him. Important it may not be. But I don’t feel like ending it anyway. Not now, not yet. Not while he makes me laugh, and smile, and come up with new ideas. Not while he still makes my skin yearn for his, and have me yell for more of that stout beauty of a cock that is his. (It is a beauty. Almost all cocks are, but this one is among my favorites: Thick, strong, symmetrical. When it rises, and it steadily does, it finds its way into every one of those little secret spots without any help at all.) That it may not be more to it than that, I am fine with, for now. I think he is too; he’s more passive than I am used to, in a man. But I promise myself, as the old year runs out, that I do not want to compare the two of them this year to come.

Here’s to happiness in 2010. I hope it will be a year of bliss.