Two weeks, too weak

I want him. I’ve told him. And he says he wants it too. But he still “can’t make it”, his new job demands too much of him, he has to prioritize, he is tired, and I know, I know, he is right, it’s a good job, he’s new to the field, and he’s exhausted, but my body still screams for him, I need his cock and I want his cock, and it makes me feel like the world’s most irrational woman. If he REALLY WANTS TO, HE’LL BE ABLE TO MAKE IT, something inside of me screams. Well, I guess my pussy is who screams. My pussy has never been very rational.

Thing is, we’ve had great sex every time we have had it. Three hours minimum, every single time. (I have told him that much time is not necessary. He has told me it is.) We’ve been through most of the Kama Sutra. His stamina is great and he is strong enough to lift me for quite some while. He is able to hold back for real long. And his cock, oh, his cock, it is thick and stout and strong. He tastes like the sea, and he smells like the wind. And I like him. This far, it’s been really interesting, and he cracked me up when he told me he has never been “that much into” fucking. I could have sworn he loves it. He does now, he assures me. (“It’s gotten a lot more interesting these last few weeks”. “I didn’t know there were condoms made in this size”. “Most women can’t take it, and I have found it uncomfortable. With you… It’s different. I’ve never been with a woman this flexible.”.)

We talk together great, too. I like him. I see potential in what we may have together. He knows both my cultures, having lived and studied and worked in NYC for parts of his life. His education matches mine and he is able to follow the way I think. His new job will allow him to roam between continents, more or less the way I do. We have these long, intense conversations, and the shortest date we’ve had to date lasted for sixteen hours. It’s all been very, very interesting.
And still. Still. Still! I’ve been away for two weeks, we had a date today, and he canceled! He can’t make it until Thursday. I am wondering if he finds this that very interesting after all. If he can manage without, or if he’s found other interests while I’ve been away. He is allowed to, we’re not in a relationship. In theory, I am free to roam, too. We have not yet given any promises. But still, I have been sleeping with him (almost) exclusively for (almost) a month. I am trying to give him a fair chance, I am trying to give us a fair chance, and this far, I feel it has been working. But now, when I have been out of town for two weeks, outside of fucking distance, I have been working very hard on being a good girl resisting all temptations. And I have managed to. I’ve been such a good girl, my pussy is now aching and screaming and complaining. It’s suffocating. Depressing. I want it, and I need it, and he is unwilling to give it to me.

And now, just an hour ago, I got a text from one of my other men. The only other I have fucked this month, shortly after the first date with the former. He is a man I have known for quite some while, have fucked for quite some while, and will never be involved with. He is a nice fuck. Not quite tantric Viking potential, definitely not X potential, but close to the former. It’s all physical, sports, pleasure, fulfilling a physical need. Totally uncomplicated. He wants to know if I am free tonight. I am. My pussy is very open for the idea. But I should not, not, not, not respond to him. I’ll ruin everything I have or can have with the promising prospect, if I do. I can't tell Tantric Viking I am seeing others. And I can't lie and say I don't.

Thursday. I have to be able to wait until Thursday.